106_How to overcome pesky roadblocks in your business w/jacqlin guernsey

The Goodness Squad Podcast Episode #106

Show Notes:

When you hit a roadblock in your business, how do you feel? If you’re like the majority of women, roadblocks often make you want to quit. I love how Jacqlin talks about overcoming mental roadblocks by giving them airtime. Your business can thrive if you stick with it. But, you need to put in the effort to find the blessings in your business.

Resources mentioned in this episode: 

Do you want to be featured in an episode of The Goodness Squad podcast? Send an email to my assistant, Audra, at help@designedforgoodness.com and she’ll send you the details.

woman working through roadblocks

Just give it some air time. -Jacqlin Guernsey

Misty Marsh - DesignedForGoodness.com Tweet

Transcript:

This is episode #106 of The Goodness Squad podcast. Today, I have Jacqlin Guernsey with me. I have followed her on Instagram for, I don’t know, at least a year, probably longer than that.

 

There are very few life coaches that I follow, Jody Moore is one and Jacqlin is another. I really love her. I feel like she’s very authentic, she recognizes that life’s hard. It’s not all roses and sunshine and you’re never going to feel bad again in your life.

 

She is down to earth and recognizes that life is hard, but she has also learned that sometimes we create more suffering than we need to.

She is really good at helping people, even through her free content, to see life from a new perspective.

 

Let me tell you just a little bit about her before I have her jump on here with me. She's currently living in the Pacific Northwest. She has four kids, all boys, plus her husband. She's very outnumbered, 5:1 with boys. She loves to read and write and watch movies with her family and do anything outside.  She's really passionate about helping mothers find joy and connection, even in the middle of chaos, which we all face as moms.

 

Welcome, Jacqlin.

 

Jacqlin: Thank you. Excited to be here and I'm very touched at the way that you introduced me. I feel like we don't always get to hear what people think about us. And I'm like, "oh my gosh, that was like the sweetest introduction ever." So thank you so much for all your kind words.

 

Misty: You deserve it and you're right. It's hard. It's really hard to be online. The online world is a harsh place, even if we don't get mean comments, which we all do at some point, but we don't often get lots of positive feedback. Sometimes it feels like you're talking to a blank wall. 

 

Jacqlin: Yeah. You don't get a lot of feedback online. It's really nice to do these kinds of interactions, to get to speak with the people that we follow every day and we get to see all their wonderfulness online, then finally get to say, guess what? You are the coolest, most awesome person. And I've thought this for over a year. And now I finally get to tell you, so yeah.

 

How being All In helps you make better decisions

 

Misty: Yeah, it is. It's good. I love the friends that we can make online, especially when we get to actually interact with them face-to-face. 

 

All right. So the women that I enjoy working with the most are those who feel called to be online. And they're kind of in this limbo of wanting to charge for what they're doing, but also wanting to give things away for free.

 

One of my goals is to help them be able to do both, to put people before profits, to give away value. It's why I love content marketing, because we can give away so much for free and then still charge for what we're doing and make money. 

 

The women that I help, they want to do that, but they come up against roadblock after roadblock after roadblock. And the roadblocks are somewhat predictable. A lot of mindset roadblocks, financial roadblocks, time, mom guilt. 

 

So many of them quit, they stop, they back away. And they decide that this just isn't for them. This isn't where they're really supposed to be. What would you tell them? 

 

Jacqlin: I would say, first of all, it's a very valid place to be. I think allowing yourself the space to walk away, if you feel like that's best, do it and to see how it is for a few months.

 

I think in terms of roadblocks. Sometimes we think that what we're supposed to be doing, if it's the right choice, there's not going to be any roadblocks. We think if it's the best option for us, it's going to be smooth sailing.

 

That is the farthest thing from the truth. When my husband, we kind of talked about this a little bit before, but my husband went to law school and, not that we were hiding it from anybody, but we didn't necessarily broadcast it to the world that that's what he was going to do.

 

We wanted to get our ducks in a row before we let everybody else know. Our parents were really excited, but they were also kind of nervous because we were leaving and they loved us and they want us to stick around.

 

We were in Utah when we applied, but we wanted to go away. We wanted to move. We actually wanted to go to the East coast. We applied to a bunch of East coast schools and the farthest West we applied was University of Louisville in Kentucky. And that's where we ended up going. It wasn't our number one school that we wanted to go to, but all signs just kept pointing back to that school.

 

We took a roadtrip to go visit and it just made the most sense. We prayed, we didn't get any answer that we shouldn't go. I had two kids at the time and my youngest was four months old. I'd just given birth to this baby as we're packing up and getting ready to go.

 

I got mono five days before we left and I was in a really bad way. I broke out in a rash all over my body. I was feverish. I was sleeping. Everyone was packing up my house as I was sleeping because I couldn't move.

 

They then decided my little brother was going to drive my car because I was nervous to drive across the country feeling the way I felt. We had so many problems on the drive out there. A car that we were towing had the tire just come off as we were driving. We searched for hours to try to find the tire. We couldn't find it.

 

We had to take the car off the trailer, switch the tires around. It was like three in the morning before we got to the hotel. And I just remember laying in bed, I couldn't even move, it hurt all my joints. We have these tiny kids. 

 

It was just one thing after another, I could spend an hour telling you all the stuff that went down. And finally, after the 10th thing that happened, we were supposed to be in Kentucky and I called my mom and she's like, how is it? Is it just wonderful and loving your place? I just started bawling.

 

I said, "We're not even there yet. There's so much going on." I just had this overwhelming feeling that we had made the wrong decision. Because so many bad things had gone down even before we left. Like I got sick, a bunch of other stuff went down with my kids.

 

I just remember sobbing on the phone. I'm like, "mom, we made the wrong decision." I felt so much despair and anguish because I'm like, why did God wait till now to tell me this was not what we were supposed to do? After we literally packed up our entire life and we are sitting in St. Louis, Missouri with everything we own in the parking lot. And now he's going to tell us that this wasn't what we were supposed to do.

 

And my mom said, and I will remember this for the rest of my life, she was like, "Jacqlin, I really think that evil works just as hard as good. And maybe the reason why all of these things are happening is because that's exactly where you're supposed to be."

 

That shifted everything. Now, whenever I see the things that are going wrong, I just open myself up to the possibility that that's exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. What if this is exactly where you're supposed to be? And it's not to say that you can't walk away, that that's not what's going to be good for you too.

 

But when it comes to the point where I'm like, I'm not sure. There's these roadblocks, I'm kind of feeling this way. I'm feeling like maybe I'm being pulled a different direction. Is that thought living with one foot in and one foot out?

 

What if instead of that, you give yourself a little bit of time to have both of your feet in and just see what happens.

 

Especially in business, if you're like, 'okay, all these roadblocks are coming. Is this what I'm supposed to be doing?' First of all, just allow yourself to just be open and just see what comes up for you. When you think maybe this is exactly what I'm supposed to be doing, because there are roadblocks, because evil does work just as hard as good. And maybe that means this is exactly what I'm supposed to be doing.

 

Maybe I'm going to give myself a month to just have both feet all in and just see what comes of it. And in a month, I'll evaluate again: does this still feel right? Is this still in line with my priorities? Is there something that I want to change? Is there something I want to do differently?

 

Maybe in business, you went longer than a month. I don't know, but for other things too. I had a kid starting preschool and the teacher offered a Wednesday kindergarten prep and I'm like, 'but I work on Wednesday. So I don't know how I'm going to stop in the middle of my day, go get him, drop him off. Then I'm going to have to stop again and go get him, drop him off, come back.'

 

I decided, 'I'm just going to give it like three, four weeks without doing it and just see how I feel in those three or four weeks. And I'm going to have both feet into not doing the kindergarten prep and I'm just going to see kind of how it goes and then evaluate at the end of that time and see. 

 

At the end of that time frame, I reassessed. And he was good. I think we'll be okay without doing that class. 

 

Misty: I just want to call something out that you said - call attention to it. I love this concept. One of the things that I teach, I'm actually outlining a podcast episode about this, is quick decisions.

 

I have found that I learn the most, I gain the most clarity when I make a quick decision, because otherwise it's a guess. You can decide either way, you can decide to pull all the way out of your business, and I love that visual that you gave both feet out or both feet in, but choose one and really commit to it for whatever period of time you decide and then reevaluate. Because then you have more information, like you just talked about with your son. 

 

Jacqlin: Absolutely. Yes. 

 

Misty: I love that idea of let's just make a quick decision because that's going to be a whole lot faster of a way to gain the information that we need to make the right decision.

 

Jacqlin: Absolutely. And it allows you to stop having to suffer unnecessarily, because you have actual evidence to pull on. You have facts that you can pull from to back up your decision later. If you're like, 'actually this really isn't working.'

 

So what now, do you try something different? Do I want to give it a time period where I just try not doing it at all and just see? You do have some evidence to help you, in the long term, make that more permanent decision about what you want to do.

 

How to deal with the mom guilt

 

Misty: So cool. Love that you brought that up. Let's go into mom guilt. This is something that so many business women struggle with and I think it's very valid. I've been there before and I believe very strongly that motherhood is a noble calling. A Godly calling.

 

I have learned that some of my guilt was misplaced as I've seen my children grow and learn from my mistakes and learn from the fact that I am taking care of myself.

 

But a lot of women are still right in the middle of it. And I even still struggle with it at times - I will admit that. But what is your tip? You are a working mother. How do you manage your mom guilt? 

 

Jacqlin: I think I've gotten really, really good at understanding guilt. I know we see a lot of marketing for, especially what I do as a coach, to ditch the mom guilt. But I think guilt can be very useful. I don't think we have to ditch it. I think that guilt can be a very great trigger to evaluate where you are.

 

I always ask myself, 'What is this guilt trying to tell me?'

 

Usually if I'm doing something wrong, something's not aligned with the priorities that I have. Then I always follow it up with the question, 'Is it true? Is it true that I'm not in line with my priorities? Is it true that I'm not a good mom?' And then from there that answer is 'no, of course that's not true.'

 

Then I know I can just let guilt run its course. And eventually it's going to go away. When it comes up, I can be like, 'oh, there it is again.' But I know that emotion is not telling me the truth.

 

If the answer is yes, if I am struggling with my priorities, then I can make a change and I can adjust. I want that guilt to tell me if there's something going on that is not serving me as a parent or is not serving my children. I want that to come up so that I can shift, or I can pivot, in some way that then is going to have me showing up more aligned with who I want to be as a parent.

 

So I think that guilt should not be completely ditched, but just ask yourself some solid questions when you start feeling the mom guilt. What is the guilt trying to tell me? And then, is it true? And then from there you can evaluate better what that guilt is. 

 

Misty: I've got to get better at not interrupting. I've done this to the last couple of podcast guests. I totally agree and I'm all excited. This is part of why I invited you on. I think you have some unique perspectives. You aren't out there, painting sunshine all over everything and just hiding the truth. There are times where we should reevaluate our priorities. But, we shouldn't do so blindly.

 

Jacqlin: Right. I think that questioning how you feel, but not in a, 'I shouldn't feel this way. I wonder why I'm feeling this way' to understand yourself better, to understand your emotions better and to understand like, 'is this emotion speaking truth to me? Or is it just something that I need to feel?' And is it something from a past belief or something that I've just started struggling with?

 

Our negative emotions can be very helpful if we're not trying to make them be a problem. They can be very useful. I'm trying to think of an emotion that is unhelpful. Maybe worry. But just understanding, 'why am I worrying?' It comes back to basic fear.

 

I have a few other things in regards to guilt, but guilt really comes from a good place in the sense that we don't want our kids to suffer, which I think is a universal parenting struggle. It's a struggle for us to watch our kids struggle. And so I think sometimes that guilt is trying to get us to stop our children from struggling.

 

For example, I would feel guilty just dropping my kids off at the gym daycare for 40 minutes. I would go to a class and leave like 10 times to go check on them because I would just feel so guilty leaving them there because I was afraid. I was afraid they weren't going to be okay or that they were going to be unhappy or they were going to struggle. And that meant that I was not a good mom.

 

Now I can put words to that. I don't know at the time, if I would have been able to get to that conclusion, but I think I've just stopped making my children's struggle be a problem. Because you will find evidence for whatever it is that you're looking for.

 

If I want to find evidence of their struggle, I'm definitely going to find that. If I want to find ways that my working is hurting them, I'm definitely going to find that, if I look for ways that my working is very helpful, I'm going to find that too. One's not better than the other. It's just another tool to evaluate if what you're doing is in line with who you want to be as a parent, as a woman.

 

As a kid, I never got left with anybody. I was with my mom 24/7. I still remember, as a teenager, having extreme separation anxiety from my home because I never got left anywhere. So whenever I drop my kids off, even if they're crying, I feel sad. But, I also know this is going to be something that is going to be really helpful for them later. To learn how to handle struggle, to learn how to be in an unfamiliar environment, to learn how to deal with other people that aren't family.

 

This is also going to be really good for you. And I think a lot of mom guilt comes from a lack of trust in yourself. That if something goes wrong, you are going to be able to figure it out.

 

A couple of weeks ago, I had our babysitter call and she was like, "listen, your kid. He keeps hitting and he's not listening to me when I'm asking him to just separate out for a minute. He won't come with me. He keeps hitting and I don't know what else to do other than just, he needs to go home." And I'm like, "I will absolutely bring them home. We'll figure out what's going on."

 

I didn't feel bad at all. I wasn't like, 'oh my gosh, my kid's a problem kid or oh my gosh, I'm the worst mom ever for making him go. And he's clearly struggling.' It was just, 'okay. Let's figure out what's going on? Does something need to change? DoI need to pivot, do I need to find less time to work so that he can be home more?'

 

It was just great information to have, and I didn't have to feel bad about it. I could just take care of him and the problem solved itself. That's a lot of our fears, right? We're afraid that there's going to be a struggle and I'm not going to know what to do. Something's going to go down. But just trust yourself that you're going to figure it out. It's so easy to pivot.

 

And I get in the moment, sometimes it doesn't feel super easy, but it's bring them home. We'll talk. We'll figure out what's going on and go from there. 

 

How to give yourself a break

 

Misty: I do think solutions are far easier than we fear. And we sometimes tell ourselves, we're so afraid that it's going to disrupt everything. I will raise my hand, I still struggle.

 

A couple of weeks ago I had COVID and I was launching stuff and I was just miserable anyway. And my daughter needed a new pair of pants because she spilt chocolate milk all over. And I was just like, "I can't, I've got to finish recording something. I can't stop."

 

It felt so huge, but I went and did it and it took a whole 15 minutes. And I got home and I remember just kind of laughing at myself like that wasn't that big of a deal. It really wasn't. But in the moment if felt like it was just going to ruin everything; the whole day was going to go to pot because I had to spend 15 minutes taking her pants and coming back.

 

I think that we do that to ourselves a lot. It just comes back to a quick decision. Okay, fine. I'm just going to go take her the pants. We'll see what happens. Instead of, yeah, I'm going to call this person or we're just going to push it back 20 minutes.

 

Jacqlin: Yeah. Things can be so much easier when we, I love the idea of the quick decisions. I'm going to use that so much more now because it is, we suffer when we keep going through it over and over. It's the overthinking part, we create so much more suffering instead of just, 'okay, we're going to go drop off the pants. I'm going to move this back 20 minutes and we're going to be.'

 

Misty: I've also learned that people are much, much more understanding than we think they will be. People are good. I mean, Jacqlin, I was supposed to do this interview like three weeks ago and I got COVID and I actually completely forgot to tell her. And so we just kind of skipped over the date that we were supposed to interview.

 

I hadn't actually sent her questions or anything like that, but still, we had set a date and I totally just skipped over it and forgot to tell her. And two or three weeks later, I finally got back and apologized and she was completely gracious. I can't even think of a time in the last decade that I had somebody who has been really upset and said I can't work with you. People are good.

 

Jacqlin: I think giving people that same courtesy to you, like I had a coach I worked with and she was really struggling a lot and we missed a bunch of appointments, didn't schedule stuff. And she came back a couple months later and said, "I just want to start over. I just want to offer you everything again."

 

In my head, I'm like, 'I don't even think that's necessary. I feel like I've had a lot.' I totally understand that people struggle, because I struggle. I think that allows us to very easily get in the shoes of another person, allowing them that same courtesy. I struggle, so obviously you must be struggling too. That makes sense.

 

So why don't we just have each other's backs and make life a little bit easier? 

 

Misty: Yeah, I completely agree. I have one kind of last big topic that I want to dig in a little bit with you, and it's the idea of charging for what we do. So before we actually started recording here Jacqlin and I were talking a little bit about this and how, one of the reasons I love content marketing is because we can give things away for free and make money at the same time.

 

But almost all of the women, I wouldn't say all, but many of the women that I work with struggle, really struggle, to charge for what they're doing. And if they do decide to charge they're way undercharging, in my opinion.

 

So, you run a business, you charge for what you do. You give away free content on Instagram, you also have a blog as well. How do you balance that? How do you get through that mindset wise? Why have you chosen and decided that it's okay for you to charge and that you don't have to give away all of your knowledge for free?

 

Charging for your products/services creates more value

 

Jacqlin: I think there is an exchange that happens, when you charge, that people take it seriously, right?

 

I'm paying someone $500 to help me ramp up my website. Or if I'm paying someone tons of money to coach me or to do this other thing, to help me with Pinterest, whatever it is, when I'm paying them to do that I'm on time. I'm there with my notes. I glean so much because there was an exchange of value, I gave them value by paying them and they're giving me value by whatever expertise that they're giving.

 

Now, I soak up the free stuff too. Absolutely. I do. And I've come to learn that there's quite a lot of amazing free content that we can take advantage of, but we almost don't take it as seriously sometimes.

 

Being able to charge, I have started viewing as almost, and I know some of you might think this is a bit of a stretch, but almost a gift that I'm giving to that person to have them take it seriously. 

 

Misty: I don't think that's a stretch. I teach it. In fact, one of the stories that I tell over and over is the very first product I ever charged for, it was an ebook, a hundred page ebook that took me years to create. I charged $2, I think. I did that for years.

 

When I finally increased the price to what it was really worth, $20+, I started getting emails from people thanking me, not for charging, but thanking me for making 72 hour kits easier. That it was the first thing that finally helped their family.

 

I'd been selling more of them when they were cheaper, and now I was making a lot more money, but more people were also emailing me saying that it had made a difference in their lives, and it's because when they pay $2 for it, they didn't use it. 

 

Jacqlin: Yup. I agree. At this point, I will  graciously give you my money, knowing that you're going to show up. If someone's paid you X amount of dollars, you are going to take it serious. You're going to be on time. You're going to make sure that everything's in place. You're going to be following up. You're going to be doing your end because you are also receiving value.

 

It's a give and take relationship. It's an equal partnership as opposed to only one side valuing the product. I love the free stuff, but I will say it takes just as much effort for me to sell the free stuff as it does the paid stuff.

 

I think there's probably always going to be a twinge of am I charging too much? Am I charging enough? But again, I just use it as good information. If it's good information for yourself, am I providing the value that I'm charging for? Are people emailing me and saying, 'wow, this is really good?' Are people signing up? Are people buying more things?' That's your cue that you're on the right track.

 

But also if you're kind of struggling and wondering, 'should I charge or do it for free?' Just notice, do you like doing it for free? Do you feel fulfilled doing it for free? Is there a reason that you don't want to do it for free? Because there are a lot of people out there who are just perfectly content. They're perfectly happy doing just the free stuff for now.

 

I know lots of people who just put out a lot of free content and they're like, "I'm perfectly satisfied and fulfilled doing it this way." I think money can be extremely beneficial in helping to move you and your business forward.

 

I think, especially religiously, sometimes we're taught that money is not the main reason we do things and I've really just opened my eyes to the idea of what if my only motivation is that I want to make money? What is so wrong about wanting to make money? And that right there, is a great awareness exercise to use if you kind of want to charge, but you're struggling or you're undercharging.

 

Just ask yourself, what's wrong with wanting to make more money? Get that all out there and see all of those thoughts and beliefs that you have around money and what might be holding you back from charging or charging more. It really is going to go back to that mindset that you have around money.

 

I know when I started, I thought 'okay, but if I charge am I a bad person? Because I'm supposed to be helping them.' That's my whole thing, helping them to release their struggle, release their pain, to find more joy. That feels like such a Christ motivated desire yet I'm going to charge them money? How can I make the two fit together?

 

And what I've come to understand is really that exchange of value, being able to take it seriously and really understanding for myself that I am not an evil person because I want to make money. I'm not a bad person and there are lots of people who are willing to pay. And there are lots of people who are going to take it to that next level because they paid, because they exchanged that value.

 

So again, just using it as a way to gather more information, a way to just evaluate yourself and your beliefs around money. Because most of the time we just have that feeling of 'I don't think I should,' and we never go deeper than that. 

 

 

Misty: But what if we get all those thoughts on paper and we look at them and we decide, 'I don't actually believe that, or I don't want to believe that.'

 

Jacqlin: yeah. Or I want to work on believing something else. Because part of me kind of believes that making money, is a valiant desire. When you're able to kind of take care of yourself, to understand yourself, to understand the needs that you have, and then you can work towards taking care of yourself. How much more do you have to give?

 

As opposed to, 'I'm just going to give everything of myself to everybody else.' The difference between the two is astounding in the ability you have to give and serve other people. And it's the same thing with money, right? When you have that money, how much more good can we do in our business, within our community, within our family, when we are receiving that money? When we do have that extra money to be able to put forth to helping and serving even more people.

 

Misty: Just this morning, I was sending a 1099 to my assistant for her taxes. A piece of paper that tells her how much she made from working with me this year. It made me so happy to see that number and to send that to her and to know that because I charge, it is helping her family. And I know her kids and I know their needs. And that brings me joy to be able to do that for another mom. She gets to work from home with her kids because I charge for what I do.

 

Jacqlin: Oh, very cool. The ripple effect that it has, money can be a very good thing. It's no different than anything in the world. When you take it to the extreme, anything can become bad or good for us, but when you keep it in context, when you keep it in that middle of the spectrum, money can be so beautiful and bless so many.

 

I don't think we think of money as blessing people. We like to kind of view it on that opposite side of 'this is so wrong of me to want to make money or to want to go on vacation or to want to buy a new car. That shouldn't be the pursuit I have in my life. I should be happy and content where I'm at.'

 

But, progression is built into us. We want to progress and we want to move forward and we want to try new things. And that's a good thing. That's a God-given given thing for us to want to move forward and progress and money can be really great.

 

So really figure out your mindset about money and try to uncover that then just see where it takes you. 

 

God is not poor and he doesn't think you should be either

 

Misty: In Come Follow Me last week we read about the city of Enoch and the phrase, 'there was no poor among them.' I think for a lot of my life I've thought that meant that they just all had equal money. For some reason when it said there was no poor among them, I just imagine them all being just barely above poor, nobody was rich, nobody was wealthy. They were just all not on the streets, but they were a whole bunch of people living in one house.

 

But as I was studying that this week, I'm like, that's kind of what I've always believed, but it doesn't say that they weren't all wealthy. It doesn't say that. It says that there nobody was poor. So to me, the opposite of poor is wealthy. They had enough. But God promises us amazing things and all that he has. And I don't think he's poor. 

 

Jacqlin: I don't think he's poor at all. I don't think he's wanting for anything. 

 

Misty: Yeah. And I think we're supposed to become like him, our goal isn't to avoid it. It's to understand it and use it wisely. 

 

Jacqlin: Yeah. And embrace it a little bit. Embrace your desire for more, that doesn't have to be a wicked thing. You can absolutely love where you are and still desire more. And that's a great thing. That's what has us in this beautiful modern society,

 

Modern technology came because somebody wanted more. All of these amazing innovations in our world have come because someone wanted more and how beautiful that they were willing to work and create and do a little more just simply because they had that desire. 

 

Misty: Yeah. Creation is Godly. It's a God given thing. Okay. Anything else that you think Latter-day Saint mompreneurs should know from a mindset coaching standpoint?

 

Jacqlin: I think that, and I say this all the time, learning to love who you are unconditionally and supporting yourself. This is kind of my platform. Learning to love yourself unconditionally and feel your emotions. If that's all we could do, we would all be on a really great road of life.

 

You're not wrong. You're not bad because you desired to do other things or because you desire more or because you have desires for money. A lot of times we kind of guilt and shame ourselves. I think just learning to love ourselves, the good and the bad, right? The light and the dark, I think is such a powerful way to move forward as mom, especially a mom in business because we tend to be really hard on ourselves.

 

I think accepting the good and the bad and the light and the dark that exists in everybody. I think just puts a little more love in the world. And change from a place of love becomes permanent. Give yourself a break, give yourself some love and gather some information and evaluate your priorities without making it mean something bad about you.

 

Guilt doesn't have to define you. Shame doesn't have to define you. Use them as a tool of information and understanding. 

 

2 final takeaways on dealing with the mom guilt

 

Misty: I think it will make sense to all of us on different levels. If I had heard that 7, 8, 9 years ago, it would mean something different than it does to me now, but it still would have been helpful.

 

I really appreciate your time and being here. And she told me right before we got on her kids had to get off to school on their own. So she had to set a timer for them in order to get them off to school. So thank you for being willing to do that. 

 

Jacqlin: And see that's another example, it's really good for them to learn how to take care of themselves.

 

We can so easily switch and think, "oh my gosh, I'm the worst. Because instead of being there, being present, getting my kids off to school, what are they missing out on?" But I stopped seeing it that way. I'm like, "man, what a blessing that they get to learn how to take care of themselves on the mornings that I'm not able to do that for them. That's going to be such a gift for them."

 

And what a blessing when they leave my house! To allow them the opportunity to figure things out, to let them solve some problems. They're really smart. We don't give kids enough credit. 

 

Misty: I totally agree. And that's something that I fought for such a long time. And when I was able to make that shift, I was like, oh wait, my kids know how to do laundry. They know how to make dinner. All because I work.

 

I don't know that I would have expected those things with them at the ages that I did, if wasn't working and now they have these great skills. That's cool. 

 

Jacqlin: Yeah. Like when I left home, I didn't know how to do my laundry. I think I ate cold cereal for the first year - that was my breakfast, lunch and dinner was cold cereal. My kid knows how to scramble an egg. That's pretty darn good. 

 

Misty: Yeah. 

 

Jacqlin: It's a blessing. Really. It really can be. And I guess this is my second takeaway, right?

 

The things you look for, you will find it. If you look for ways that your business is a blessing, you're going to find the ways that they are a blessing. So just give it a little airtime. Our brain is wired to find the negative. It's wired to find what's wrong because it's a survival instinct.

 

If we can figure out what's wrong and solve it, you stay alive longer. So it's just important to give a little bit equal airtime. If you just do a little bit more each day, but really trying to give equal airtime to the really good things. There's a lot of blessings that sometimes we're not as aware of.

 

Misty: Cool. I liked that phrase: Give it a little more airtime. Thank you so much for your time.

Jacqlin: Yeah. Thank you for having me. 

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