How to change your mindset with one word w/Becky Kemp

Misty: Welcome to episode #105 of The Goodness Squad podcast. My guest is Becky Kemp from BecomingWithBecky.com. I have learned a lot from Becky recently. She is a life coach and I see her as a mindset expert.

Mindset is such a huge part of our success as business women, as mothers, in any area of our lives. I’ve come to learn, over the last several years, that mindset determines our success more than almost anything else. More than the actual skills we have, more than all the courses we’ve taken, and the things that we learn and understand.

 It’s actually our mindset that really determines how successful we’re going to be. But it’s not my area of expertise. So that’s why I have brought Becky to you today.

She has a very unique perspective in her coaching. I don’t want you to hear the phrase ‘Life Coach’ and shut off because you’re thinking, “oh, it’s a bunch of mumbo jumbo.” I know I have had those thoughts. I don’t believe it anymore. I actually really, really love what I’ve learned from various different coaches.

But Becky’s perspective is really unique. She helps you make some of these changes without using a lot of willpower and she really, really simplifies things. I’m kind of hinting at some things that we’ll get into a little later in today’s episode, but she’s a genius when it comes to simplifying our ability to become what we really want to become.

How managing our thoughts affects everything we do

Becky: Oh, you are so kind Misty. Thank you. Those are such kind words. I don’t know if I’m a genius, because there was a time when I felt really stuck and felt like everybody else was creating the life they wanted. But I have taken my own life experiences  and I realized that by just learning to change my words, I could actually create and do things differently.

A lot of how I’ve discovered these tools is through personal trial and error. And then I feel called to share it with other women. So many of us start out with goals and desires and we’re really excited, then we hit those roadblocks. But, what keeps some of us moving forward and what makes some of us go the other way?

I think a lot of it does have to do with our mindset because anyone can learn something and we all have talents and abilities, but it’s managing our thoughts and the thoughts that we think determine how we feel. And it’s our feelings that determine the actions we take.

I was thinking it was my circumstances around me, but really it’s the thoughts. When I first heard the term life coach, I didn’t know what that was until I was introduced to one. I kept thinking, “well, how can someone help me?” But I think a lot of times it’s just acknowledging our desires and then getting the perspective to put our focus back on what matters most.

I know you work with women that feel called and want to put something good out into the world and they get excited and they start (because I’m one of those women) and then the obstacles come. What I help people see is that with every obstacle, there is a solution and it has to do with words. And that’s a power that each one of us has. We can co-create with God when we learn how to manage those words.

Misty: Awesome. Well, I’m really, really glad you’re here and I’m really excited to learn more from you today. For those of you who are watching this on YouTube, I have to apologize for the dumb dog in the background. He’s driving me crazy. He hasn’t had a walk in weeks because of our family having COVID. So he is going nuts. So you all get to meet Po, our wonderful dog in the background.

So Becky, tell me, I wanted to have you on now, the very end of January specifically, because so many of us have set new year resolutions. I have yet to determine if I really think that that’s a good idea or not. I don’t want to switch my resolutions to July just to be different, but I know that many of us do this and we end up at the end of January/beginning of February feeling defeated. Why do you think so many of us give up on our resolutions by February 1st? 

Why people give up on their new year resolutions so quickly

Becky: I’ll just speak to my own experience with that because I used to set goals all the time. Beginning of January, I was going to change my physical outlook and my spiritual outlook and my mental outlook and all the things. Maybe I had a big plan, but I didn’t know how to implement and I didn’t know how to weather the storms of life.

You just told us that you’re getting over COVID, I bet January 1st that wasn’t on your calendar. That’s what happens to a lot of us, we have a plan and then the plan doesn’t go as we thought, and then we start thinking we’re doing something wrong and that has to do with our thoughts.

I used to be one of those people that would hit the gym religiously beginning of January, I’m going to this many classes a week, I’m doing all these things. I had these hard and strict rules for myself and as soon as I wasn’t able to meet one of them, my brain would start to tell me ‘you’re a failure.’ As if everybody else’s plan goes exactly how they want.

Well, it doesn’t and that’s the problem – we think everybody’s life goes exactly how they want. Misty, I’ve gotten to know you over the last several months, you are growing this beautiful business, but it hasn’t gone exactly how you’ve wanted it to. But somehow people see what you’re doing and they just think, everything Misty does, she’s amazing at.’

I’m not saying you’re not amazing at it, but we have to recognize that we want to have our focus on something and we do want to have goals and things we’re working towards. But when we hit obstacles, that’s just part of learning and part of growth.

I think what happens to a lot of us is that we start out really strong, and then we start whimpering off. Things aren’t as easy as we thought they would be. We don’t have the mindset to go, “Okay. Instead of just thinking I failed at something, maybe I can’t go to the gym five days a week. I thought that I could give five days, 30 minutes a day and maybe I need to reassess and just say, I can only give two.” 

For some reason, for years and years, I didn’t know how to adjust. I just kept saying, if I couldn’t meet what I first said, I would fall off. So I think that that is normal for all of us to start something strong and then we kind of whimper off. And what separates us is the mindset. 

Misty: I really believe that. I think you’re right. Sorry.,I interrupted you. I get all excited about something you’re saying. I did want to just let those of you who are listening know that Becky lives this. Becky is a client of mine. She makes use of my Done in a Day service every month and we work through some of the tech stuff and I help her with that side of her business.

I feel like we work fairly well together because of this type of understanding. When I had COVID I knew absolutely that I could tell Becky, “I can’t get your Done in a Day done this week.” And she would be fine with that. And she wouldn’t see that as a failure in my business. Those are the types of things that I think she’s sort of hinting at here.

I’ve never been absolutely 100% on top of everything that I do for Becky, because that isn’t realistic. And she sees that. I love that she’s able to come to me in those same ways and say, “Hey, I know you needed X, Y, Z by this date. But my husband has this need or my family has that need, can we adjust?”

When we’re able to do that for each other, as women, and for ourselves, I think we really gain a lot more traction and ability to move forward.

How the words you speak affect what happens

Becky: I would 100% agree. And this is how I talk about getting out of  willpower and kind of getting back into the flow of living life. Willpower, to me, is the push. And so it’s like, “I have this, I should be doing this. I need to be doing this.” And when we think thoughts like that, we often feel less than. It’s exhausting, right? It’s that push, it’s that hustle.

And so there are days when I have a full calendar of things that I want to do, but if I’m not feeling like I’ve got the creative ability, I have to ask myself, “okay, what’s going on with me?” Maybe I need to focus on my family a little bit more, or maybe I just need to adjust sometimes, because if we’re always in the push, we lose enjoyment in the experience of life. We’re meant to have joy.

I found you because I had this message that I was looking to get out into the world. I don’t want to know how to do all the backend stuff. That is not my strength. I am not kidding, it was within just a minute of me acknowledging that to the world, someone I knew had posted something about you. And that was the start of our connection.

That’s how words help us. It’s like we are looking for what we’re good at, we put that into the world and then where we need help we team up with other people that can help us. And it just makes the journey so much better.

Misty: I love that you say that. The podcast episode that went live last week is about that. About how we as women, when we can be humble enough to admit that we can’t do A+ work in all areas of our life, we just can’t. But God gave us a sisterhood. He gave us other women who can do A+ work in the areas where we might fail or do C work. If we can pool our resources together, become more unified, and recognize, “Hey, Becky, you’re much better at teaching people about mindset than I am. Will you please come on my podcast and help people with that?” we are able to help more people.

I’m using my platform to help you reach people that you may not have reached otherwise, but I’m also using your talent to teach my people something that I may not be able to teach them. That’s cool. That’s really cool. 

Becky: It’s a beautiful way to live, in the flow of connection, sisterhood. I think what happens a lot of times, back to setting goals, is we kind of look at that Facebook experience. We see what everybody portrays is going really well, but right before I got on, I’m telling my dog to quit barking. So when you tell me about your dog, I’m like, ‘yeah, that’s the real life.’

And then I’ve got a married son and his wife who are living with us for a few months. And I just said, “Hey, I’m recording a podcast.” We’re just human beings instead of human doers. So I think the reality is finding people that are like-minded and then learning how to even state what your desires are.

If you have a goal, it is good to state it, but adjust and look for those people that can help you keep moving your goal forward. Because if you have a goal or a desire, I believe that is from God. I think that desires are from God that make us want to become better. That’s why it’s Becoming with Becky.

We’re all wanting to become better. We have things on our hearts, especially women. So find those people that can help you keep moving it forward. And sometimes it’s just a little bit of self care. Misty, when you were sick, I knew that you needed to take care of yourself. And I was like, I can adjust because I have been sick before and I’ve had to adjust my schedule. I’ve just learned it’s easier to go in that flow than to be resentful or frustrated. Life is too short to live that way. 

Secret Desires

Misty: I do love that about you. Okay. So we’ve talked a little bit about the willpower thing. That is one of the very first things that drew me to you because I feel like I often live in that hustle and that willpower. And I’ve learned a lot about that from you.

The second thing I really like is that you talk about how we, as women, have “secret desires.” I really feel that sometimes I’m almost embarrassed of the things that I want for my life.

When I very first started this business, I remember thinking, “okay, in three years, I want to have enough money to be able to move.” I didn’t tell my husband for months because I was so embarrassed that this was a thought that I’d had. We don’t really need to move, but I want that.

That’s kind of on a bigger level, but even on smaller things, there are things that I want. I remember the first time I ever started a business, for years, feeling guilt about that, because I wanted that. Did that make me a bad mom? I think that we face a lot of that as women. So can you touch a little bit on when you say I want to help you with your secret desires? Is it just that you want to help people achieve them or is it also that you want to help people feel comfortable with them? How do you help women around those secret desires? 

Becky: Well, let me ask you, why were you embarrassed to tell your husband and why were you embarrassed to say something that you want? Have you ever thought about that? 

Misty: I have, since I’ve started working with you a little bit and I don’t know that I know all the answers, but I do think that I felt like it wasn’t something I should want. The reason why I wanted to move was because we want a pool and that seems so worldly to me.

But there were other reasons why I want it. I have problems with my joints and it makes it really easy for me to exercise in a pool. And I know that that will help me be healthy and have a longer life. But if the pool takes me 20 minutes to get to and I have to pay for it, I’m probably not going to go.

Also, all of my kids struggle with mental health, but they all love swimming and we can get out there as a family and exercise, spend time together. Even if one kid is really upset and I can’t leave to go to the pool, but the rest of the family can just go in the backyard.

So it wasn’t just this worldly desire, but I was afraid, I guess, of how it would be perceived by others. Even speaking to you now, I’m almost a little nervous about admitting that. Isn’t that fascinating? 

Your desires are enough of a reason

Becky: It’s fascinating. And I would even say to you, Misty, you don’t even have to have a reason other than you desire it and want a pool for your house.

We don’t have to have all these reasons that justify it. So I’ll tell you one of my secret desires, that got me where I am today and moving forward, is when I was a little girl, I wanted to write a book and speak on a stage. Now, every time I say that, same thing, I think “who am I to say that?”

Because that means I think that I have something worth offering the world and that I’m amazing, but that’s not really true. That’s a desire that’s been on my heart. I spent many years though, not honoring the desires of my heart because I would let all the reasons why I can’t do it stop me.

Our brain has two different parts. It has the prefrontal cortex and the primitive part of the brain. The primitive part of the brain is the same as your dog. It’s the part all mammals have it. It’s meant to keep us safe. It’s to look for pleasure or avoid pain, conserve energy. I mean, look at your dog back there. Perfect example, conserving energy, as happy as can be.

Well, as humans, we have the prefrontal cortex, or we have a part of us that can plan. The great thing about planning is that we can set goals. We can look at things that we want to accomplish, and we start working toward them. But if we don’t manage that, our primitive brain is going to go, ‘No, no, no, no, you, you can’t speak and write a book. You don’t have a good message to share.’

And that’s what my brain was doing. It was telling me all the reasons I can’t do stuff instead of allowing me to focus on, ‘why can’t I do this?’ I went through several years of anxiety and depression, where I was doing all the right things, going to church and saying all the right things. But I was not living into the purpose that I was sent here to create.

I really believe that you can be an amazing mom and develop skills and abilities. You can have desires, like a swimming pool, for no other reason than because you want it. You think it will bring your family joy. So I think that that’s one of the big turning points is just learning to acknowledge your desires.

When we start to acknowledge things out loud, it lets us realize like, ‘wow, why was I even hiding that?’ A lot of women don’t even consider what they desire because they’re so focused on helping everybody else that they lose sight of who they are.

It took me years and years to tell people that I wanted to speak and write a book for no other reason other than I want to and now I’m doing it. And I’m getting great opportunities and it’s something I love. I’ve had to work on not going into that place of embarrassment or what’s my neighbor going to think of me.

What I’ve learned is, guess what Misty? You have other desires than me. And that’s great. We can still be friends and we can still find commonality, but we can also express the things that we want. So first and foremost, a lot of women have stopped dreaming or having desires because they’re embarrassed or they’re worried about what other people will think.

 And then, what happens is, they’re not fulfilling their true measure. And then they do struggle because that desire doesn’t leave. And so when we honor it and we begin to acknowledge what it is, then it happens and I’m sure you’ll get your pool at some point. It might not be when you think, but it will happen if that’s the desire that you want.

Begin, Belong, Become

Misty: Okay. Well, thank you. Now you have a program called Begin, Belong, Become that helps people take these tiny first steps, right? Becky focuses on one word at a time. I hinted earlier about how she makes things really simple. So you’ll go to some life coaches, and they’re analyzing your whole entire thought and helping you come up with a huge big goal, and she focuses on just one little word at a time. So tell me about begin, belong and become.

 Becky: I think the start of anything is to begin and to acknowledge that you want to do something different.

There is just a power when we release words, words have energy. When we begin to explore and look into those desires, that’s the first step. So if you don’t know which way you’re going, you don’t know where to go. We have to have direction. And I feel like that’s what words do.

So we first begin to explore things that we want in our lives. What is possible with our lives. And then I think the next step is belong. And oftentimes, as women, we need sisterhood. We need community.

When I was starting to say that I wanted to speak and become a speaker, I was introduced to the national speakers association. I didn’t even know there was an association with speakers like this, and there’s a chapter here in Utah. And again, as I began to acknowledge and begin to pursue this, all of a sudden this association is introduced to me.

That’s how powerful I think words are. You start to put your desire out there and then the universe kind of just points you in the direction to achieve that. I remember driving to my first meeting. I was so scared because I was going forward with what I dreamed about and I walked in there and guess what?

There were professional speakers there, people that have been doing this for 24 plus years and that knew their stuff. And I’m like, ‘oh, but I have learned to show up and how to manage my mind.’ Since 2019, I’ve been a part of the national speakers association.

And there are still times that I feel like an imposter, but they have been more than welcoming and they have taught me so much. And so belonging is linking arms with other people that are like-minded with your desire. And then becoming is continuing to take those steps forward despite the obstacles.

I remember the first time I got there, someone said, ‘well, what do you speak on?’ And I was like, ‘oh, well, I kind of speak about words, but I could probably speak about anything.’ I didn’t know. I’ve learned that it’s best to be very specific on what you speak on, so today I help women that are stuck and feel unworthy step forward with the divine power of words. I didn’t know that until I started working with them and they taught me that that is really helpful.

We all need to realize we have the ability to learn how to step through and to become the person that we’ve always wanted to be. And it really has to do with one word at a time. I have to have a simple approach because if not, it’s too overwhelming for me.

Focus on ONE word at a time

Misty: I think that’s why so many of us struggle with therapy and life coaching, because sometimes it feels really complicated and that’s why I’ve invited you on here. So, tell us a little bit more about how your approach to coaching women who feel stuck.

How is it different from other life coaches?  Tell us more about this One Word Way, why you’ve chosen to focus on one word at a time with people. 

Becky: Okay. Well, let me back up just a little bit. I mentioned earlier, I was dealing with a lot of depression and anxiety probably about 7/8 years ago, and I have always been a prayerful person.

I reached out one time to heavenly father, and I just said, “I cannot find joy in my life,” but outside appearances, everything looks good, on paper looks good, but I was feeling really unfulfilled. And I received an impression that has never left my side since then, but it was change your words, learn how to change your words and you’ll change your life.

And so from that journey of learning, that I’ve just gone through, this whole experience of learning about words. First, I started a positive t-shirt and apparel business about a year after this experience that was called Becoming Threads. And what I saw is how powerful it was to actually put on words.

My sister-in-law and I started it and we could physically walk into our closet and choose words to put on. So I could put on the words like, ‘keep it simple’ or ‘grateful heart,’ easy, done. Words to kind of remind me of what I needed.

Through that, I got introduced to what life coaching was. And I was like, that’s exactly what I’ve been seeing with words. And what I found so powerful is every woman has a story around words. If I said “Misty, what does keep it simple mean to you?” You would tell me, and then I’d tell you, and we could find a common connection about it, even though our stories are different.

I just kept seeing how powerful words were and you could physically put them on. And then as I got introduced to what life coaching is, I got certified through the Life Coach School. Brooke Castillo is the one that teaches about the model. And it’s your thoughts that drive your feelings.

Choose words that will help your mindset

I got thinking that if I can determine how I want to feel every day, I can actually put on thoughts to help me feel that way. When when I feel joy, when I feel committed, I take different actions than if I feel overwhelmed and uneasy. And so it just was breaking down to one word at a time, one day at a time of living life, instead of looking at the whole year or the whole big task, it’s one thing at a time.

It just helped me to simplify things, “okay, what words do I need today?” When I coach people and when I even speak to groups, I teach them focusing on one word at a time. And how the power of just one word can actually begin to change your story because sometimes we think, “well, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.”

But really, let’s just tweak one little thing. And a lot of times people are like, “I can try that” and then they try it and it takes the overwhelm out of the equation.

Just ask yourself, “what words do I need today to help me create the life that I’ve always wanted?” 

Misty: Just this morning, I was thinking about you. I knew we were going to have this interview today and my daughter was struggling. Her birthday was on January 18th and we all had Covid. We didn’t do a thing. My mom was kind enough to drop off a little mini-cake for her, but she didn’t even really want to eat it. And then the following week, she’s feeling better now, but she’s in a play. So she has practice until seven o’clock every night. So we just haven’t really been able to celebrate her birthday.

My dad was going to pick her up today and take her out to lunch, but because my husband’s still sick, he didn’t want my dad to get sick. She was feeling really disappointed this morning. Just kind of unloved. She asked me if I could come take her to lunch today. I said, “no, I’ve got a podcast interview. And I can’t do that today.”

She was upset and I said, “Hannah, how do you want to feel?” And I thought of you, and I said, “give me one word, how do you want to feel right now?” She said, “Loved.” And I said, “okay, so we can’t change what’s going on. We can’t change the fact that we got COVID on your birthday. It really stinks. But are there things that you can think about that make you feel loved?” And she was a little grumpy about it for a few minutes.

But, then I said, “do you wanna go play Yahtzee?” And so we played Yahtzee before she went to school and then she kind of started to pull out of it. And she was able to think, “oh, well, I feel loved when you tucked me in last night, I feel loved because you’re playing Yahtzee with me.”

Just this focus of one word, she was able to see lots of ways in her life, lots of evidence in her life that she is loved.

Change your mindset

Becky: I love that. Because our brains are meant to keep us safe, they tend to focus on the negative. So when we focus on one thing negative, then we see something else negative and something else negative. And so just by having that conversation with her it allowed her to reframe her focus, right?

When you first started telling her, she’s like, ‘I don’t tell me this,’ but it sounds like by the time she left for school, she was feeling more loved because she was focusing on all the reasons why she’s loved. It didn’t change that you couldn’t take her to lunch and that her birthday wasn’t the best birthday, but birthdays are just birthdays. But just those little changes help us so we don’t suffer as long.

When I talk about creating your most beautiful life, we are all still going to experience suffering. That is just part of the human experience. It’s opposition in all things, but we don’t have to stay in the suffering as long we can get back into curiosity.

How do you want to feel today? That’s a really powerful question to ask each one of us every day. Because sometimes I have to adjust my schedule based on how I’m feeling and that’s okay. So I love that story and good for you. 

Misty: Coaching her helped me to learn how to simplify it. Just one word that describes how you want to feel; she was able to do that, because it was so simple. That’s what I love about your approach here is that it’s simple. It’s doable for even an 11-year-old.

We all do it.

BECKY: When you find yourself seeing things not going how you want, a lot of times we’ll start saying Why? Why did I have to get Covid on my birthday? All we do is focus on the Why. But our brain tends to look at the negative. So I’ve learned to start asking myself how do I want to feel today?

Because you can’t change that January 18th has already come and gone. We can’t change that. So, how do I want to feel? And you can continue to talk about when can we celebrate and how do we want to celebrate and kind of refocus on the good, because if we allow ourselves to focus on the, I missed my birthday on the 18th and all the negative, that’s all we’ll see.

So that’s the biggest thing I’ve learned with words is that we can’t change the circumstances, but we can change what we think about the circumstances. And when we learn to change that, then it sounds like she went to school a little more chipper than maybe she would’ve been had you not taken that few minutes with her.

And that’s just re-training our minds to focus on the good and to look for the good in our daily living. So that’s what I try to help people with.

Why you need to stay curious

Misty: I have one more question for you. So let’s focus back on not ten-year-olds missing their birthdays, but on women struggling in their businesses. They have felt called, and for whatever reason, they’re up against a roadblock: their husband doesn’t support them, they can’t figure out the tech, they launched, it didn’t make any money, whatever the reason there’s roadblock.

What is one word that you could give them to focus on in order to help pull them out of that?

Becky: I would say ‘how’ and I would say continue to ask questions and stay curious. I believe questions are the most powerful tool. First and foremost, having those conversations with our heavenly Father, but also with others.

Because when you start telling people, I’m trying to do this and I’m struggling, all of a sudden, they have a connection for you. They know somebody, it just opens for possibility. But a lot of times we fall into that compare and despair and we’re like, ‘oh, I can’t tell anyone that I launched this thing. I see everybody else that has so much going for them.’

The very first time when I went to that NSA meeting that I told you about, I walked in and my knees were quivering. And I was like, what am I doing here? The longer I watched the woman who was speaking, I kept thought, ‘She knows exactly what to do.’ I think she probably heard my energy telling her that because she said, “okay, for those of you that this is your first or second time, don’t look to me as your example. I’m 20 years ahead of you. Find people that are a step ahead of you, find people that are right there with you and ask them how to do it and team up with them.”

And so I would say asking questions. One of the questions is how do I keep moving forward? What do I change? Recognizing that failure or things not going as planned are really for you. Failure just has a bad connotation with it. But failure is actually a good word because it teaches us things.

I still haven’t been able to hear failure in my own life and think, ‘I love that word,’ but I can ask more questions. I think a lot of women, we get really excited and we feel called to do something and then when we want to get out into the world and it’s hard, then we start to question ourselves. I have been that woman.

I have to always drop back into re-acknowledging what my gifts are and then continue to ask questions and find acceptance. Those are the first three words that I offer in the word effect book that I’m going to be coming out with this year is these three words that help us kind of re-focus us.

Because if not, then we just start focusing on our failures as if they’re a bad thing. So I would just say, whatever you do, don’t quit, but keep asking questions and you will be directed to the people and the resources and the money that you need to create your desires. 

Misty: Okay. So ask God, ask yourself and ask others.

Becky: Yeah. Yeah, stay curious. 

Learn more about Becky

Misty: I like that. Okay. So I want to tell all of you a few ways in which you can reach out to Becky and get support from Becky, if you’re wanting that. And then I’ll let you close here, Becky, with anything else that you want to say.

Becky has a great freemium that walks you through and introduces you to this idea of the one word way. So if you want to dig in a little bit deeper into what she really means by focusing on one word at a time, you want to get that freemium, and then she’ll walk you through multiple different words in her welcome series.

You can also purchase from her a mini-course called Begin, Belong, Become which focuses on those three words specifically, how do we begin? How do we find places to belong? And then become something closer to what it is we want to become.

She does live retreats. And you can go to her website right now and get on a waiting list for those. She just had one in January and it went really well and was a beautiful experience for a lot of the women who attended.

Lastly, she is opening up a mentoring group. We’re calling it a connection circle. It’s the idea that we need each other as women and finding a way to really acknowledge our desires and then move towards actually creating them. It’s about taking the actual actions instead of just acknowledging them and relying on each other to help us do that.

So head over to her website at BecomingWithBecky.com, if you want to learn more from her, I suggest you just start right there with her freemium and she’ll guide you through some of the other things that she offers.

Becky: You’re so sweet Misty. I have a podcast called The Word Effect because I like to make people aware of just how powerful words are. I just want to share with women, especially how by changing one word at a time, you can actually change your whole life.

It’s one step at a time, one word at a time. And I feel like words are kind of like our stepping stones of progression. And so the one word way is an easy way to just start seeing that. 

I think that women are craving connection, me included. And so that’s why I put together The Gathering Retreat. I’m putting together this connection group, because I feel that women are looking to link arms and join together to continue to create and bring our talents and our abilities and realize that if we can manage our minds, we can create anything.

Once I started to learn that, I’m living the things that I’ve always wanted to do. My circumstance hasn’t changed, but my thoughts have, so it’s anyone that’s looking to link arms with other women in that way. Definitely reach out. It would be a privilege to work with you.

I have learned so much from you, Misty.  You teach so much about setting boundaries too. I love the connection of women. I love that we can work together and we’re stronger together. And that’s what I hope to share with others. 

We are all still Becoming

Misty: Well, you do an excellent job of it. I’m sorry. So we will make sure we have a link to her podcast as well. I completely forgot to mention that. She also does one-on-one coaching. So if you really want to jump right in to your specific questions, your specific desires, your goals for your life, then that’s what you need is to become a client of Becky’s.

She obviously has lots of other ways that she can help you, but if you really want that one-on-one help, then you need to get on her calendar as a coaching client.

I wanted to say one last thing while you were speaking. I think Becky has mentioned this earlier today that a lot of times we look at other women and we compare ourselves. Becky is not perfect at this. There have been times where she has a launch or a product and she comes to me saying,  “I’m kind of frustrated” and then she will follow that up with, “but I’m focusing on this word, I’m pulling myself out of it by doing this.”

And so I don’t want you to think that the things that she’s teaching are going to magically make your life perfect. The circumstances don’t change. She still faces the same frustrating things that we all face, but she has tools to deal with it. And I doubt she uses all those tools perfectly every single day, but she is really, really good at digging deep and finding those words that pull her out of that. What did you call it earlier, Becky?

Suffering or when we’re struggling. And that’s part of why I trust her so much. It’s because she’s honest about the fact that she’s not perfect at this, but it has made a huge difference. 

Becky: Oh, you’re so sweet. And that really is why it’s Becoming with Becky because becoming is an active word.

I am the first to tell people I’m not perfect. I tried to live that perfectionistic life for many, many years, and it just kept me stuck and miserable. And so I feel it’s so much more effective to ask, “What words do I need today?” And take it a day at a time and reassess our minds.

I love hearing other people when they’re able to kind of see how to do this on their own, because I believe we’re here to help each other.